DOWN

DOWN

Feeling desperately lonely today, acting terribly depressed. I haven't done any housework today, hardly at all played with my daughter (just provided her with all the necessary toys to play on her own), been crying, thinking, longing...

Damn that man from Wednesday. How dare he come and disrupt me like this? And why? I thought I had been strong, but obviously he did get to me.

It wasn't the beating, the humiliation or any of the other ordeal. Even though I felt more emotional during it and it lasted longer than any other experience I had before. No, that's not it. Anyone can come and give me a taste of pain, and I'll wave them goodbye ready to carry on with whatever I was doing. It's the unexpected nice hug, telling me how much I need it, it's the understanding that is offered, some of the things that are said subtly put in the conversation only to hit you a few days later.

The bruising starts to heal, and the loneliness kicks in...