IT’S RAINING MEN

High time for a happier blog. Today I took a sick day, and lazed in bed all morning. Apart from masturbating, I also caught up on watching some DVD’s. Until I got “found out” by R. Then I had to rush out of bed and start the tidy up of a lifetime and a quick shower to look a tiny bit presentable –and not like someone who has been feeling sorry for herself for ages.

It sort of worked, but he immediately found the room in which all the laundry was quickly thrown onto a pile, gathered from the floor in the whole rest of the house. So although it looked tidy, the magic of it was spoilt.

After he left, I got on with a bit of work in Access (one of my favourite passtimes, I’m ashamed to say). Whilst doing this, I downloaded a few songs. Uplifting disco tunes (no, I am not a closet disco diva disguised as goth) I had heard at a wedding party last weekend. I got up and danced and sang to “I will survive”, “I am what I am” and “It’s raining men”.

I know, I know, when you’re all done laughing and pulled yourself back onto your chairs reading this… It worked!! I am actually feeling better. I’m even thinking of changing my profiles again.

Last week I started writing to Frans. I thought long and hard about it, and decided to just start writing. Just get things off my chest that way, but in a calm and composed way. I love writing, and can spend absolute hours on searching for the right words and trying to find the right tonality. The aim is to create a very calm, but still sharpish and to the point letter. Every day, or whenever I can and feel up to, I add little bits. Until everything is said. Then I will re-read it a dozen times and sleep on it. Whether or not I will ever send it, I haven’t decided yet. But I do think it will help myself to come to terms with it, be calm in my grief, and perhaps get more insight and clarity in the why it hurts so much.

This weekend was also special, although in a completely different way. I experienced a massive culture shock! It was at the wedding party, where I saw a group of 4 bleached blond women, wearing sparkly dresses… The “blond club” made me cringe, and I looked with a painful expression on my face at them, when they came to dance in a circle on the dancefloor. I was just telling my Friend N (female, also dark-haired) about how horrible a sight it was to me, and that I thought that this type of stereotype woman didn’t really exist, but got exhagerated through humor. But oh no…it got worse…. They then put their handbag in the middle of their cirle –now clearly marked cause they were holding hands…!!!!!! I had to look away….This was not true, it couldn’t be! Oh my… oh my…. no, I couldn’t believe it. It is not a myth… they really do exist!!

I ran away, to my boss P. He is like a father, and always find him to be like a safe haven. And indeed now as well, when he saw me shaking like a leave whilst I was explaining I needed him to get over the shock, he did the right thing and got me a double vodka and orange juice. He kept me well topped up the rest of the night. Such a wise man!

So, planning on not crying the whole rest of the day. I keep the uplifting music going. I just had an online chat with the man of the couple I will be meeting this weekend and that was nice. Also tonight I got another online chat planned, with a dom from London who seems interesting. And then later tonight looking forward to a very horny conversation with T on the phone.

To finish this blog, I share a quote I came across last week and made me realise again how single life is to be cherished and treasured. Cause sadly all too right she was when Katherine Hepburn said:

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."