MY PORCELAIN DOLL

This blog entry will be slightly different. It will be more fantasy than reality. I’ve decided on this after endless amounts of time starting a “proper” blog, talking about everything that goes on.

So despite, or more likely, just because of all that is happening in my life at the moment (such as divorce proceedings, looking for a new job abroad and housing, very deep concerns about the welfare of my lovely little girl, being in love and separated from the man that makes me happy), none of that will be described or talked about today. Instead a bit of fantasy mixed with reality.

I have a friend, a young girl so pretty she seems as if she could break. A very beautiful body, cute dark curls around her little face, pale as porcelain… So often I would like to put her in a glass cabinet, protected from the harm outside, and I could stand in front of her and admire her fragile beauty.

Yesterday I was at a party, when she pulled me playfully against herself. She whispered me her dirty little secrets in my ear, cause I am the only one she can trust with them. It created a nice intimate atmosphere between us. We laughed and giggled, and embraced and kissed. N. took the liberty to start provocing the rest of the room by rubbing her breast against mine, knowing very well I love to shock and cause hilarity or sometimes even aversion or disapproval, but mostly I like to arouse and what better than some lesbian behaviour publicly exposed.
We gave each other some loving little kisses again, and I told her how enjoyable she was, which touched a nerve. At the dinner table she sat next to me, on her knees on the floor and I offered to get a chair for her. She looked at me with a playful smile, telling me that she as well knows her place. I stroked her hair, and could not do anything else but smile back at her. Eventually we ended up sharing a chair, very often cuddled up to each other. I especially embraced her when she told me how she liked rules, and a wave of warmth and understanding came over me. I held her tight when it was my turn then to whisper in her ear, and told her how much of a subbie she really is.

Quite a while ago I told her how I feel she would fit in so well, and what a fantastic little sub she is. More so than me. For me being submissive means obeying rules that are created for me, pleasing my Master –but mostly in a sexual way, feeling the joy of humiliation, being tested –sometimes involving pain, being ordered,… all of this is mainly based on perverted fantasy. Subservient however is not something that comes easy. Although sometimes it might look a little like I do, I know these actions do not stem from the desire to serve somebody, but from motherly feelings/instincts, the desire to look after somebody and take care of them (thanks to both my previous Masters I have understood this now).
But N. is always running and serving everybody around her. It is simply what she does and who she is.

When saying goodbye after a very close and cosy evening by her side, she told me how much she loves me and how much she will miss me when I am gone. Again a warmth went through my whole body, and I told her how I wish I could take her with me, and take care of her. And she wished the same.

I’d ask my Master if I could keep her. She would have to help me getting dressed and made up in the mornings, do my ironing and cleaning. In the evenings I would cook for her, we’d chat and cuddle a bit after which she would be free until bedtime.
I would then be ready to devote my time to my Master. When N. would be back home or ready for bed after doing her own little things, I would put her in bed. I would read her stories, or tie her up and blindfold her –whatever mood I’d be in. But I’d be gentle and soft, loving and caring, and make her fall asleep with a smile on her face.
I would teach her, not only about submissiveness, but mostly about enjoyment and the beauty in life. Because that is the most recent lesson I had…